untuk setiap ke kekokan kita,
ada cerita yang tak perlu orang tahu.
cukup yang manis sahaja tersebar.
yang pahit biar kita simpan.
buat masa sekarang ni,
aku biarkan semua rasa sepi.
tanpa ada sepatah kata dari aku
dan -- dari kau juga.
mungkin kau bukan untukku,
mungkin juga perpisahan untuk kita,
mungkin juga ada pertemuan selepas perpisahan.
tentang kita -- Tuhan lebih tahu.
i trust too much, until i give my all.
but still they broke me.
every piece of me.
but still can standing in front you-
those exactly know me, wonder why suddenly i became quiet.
overthinking kills me.
those panic attack when im afraid.
this one month,
i meet society.
every single one that pass me by.
bank workers, beggars, person that we think they crazy but they not.
everyone have they own story that keep them doing what they are.
i meet cancer survivor.
a person that look have happy but she are going to remove her uterus because of cancer.
i meet a person that work as a cleaner and losing her mom because cancer, she willing to help poor cancer patient.
i meet a bank workers that always happy with everyone and she like the happiest girl in the world but she was having a tough life with poor family before and losing parents since child.
compare to my story.
my story doesn't seems too big too handle.
sometimes i got stress over a little things.
seriously, i relieved that there people that said --
are you okay ? its okay. people make mistake. lets start again.
ill be here. anytime you need me.
i know you have been quiet. you're not you are. i see you change.
and there must be something that bother your mind.
its okay. now let it go. let the pain go.
i trust people too much.
take them for granted.
but when it is time for them to protect me.
they gone. totally don't bother anything happens to me.
and people said --
you need friends in life.
quality over quantity is always the best.
if you know how i can protect/ worries about them,
you will wonder why they still betray me.
you will :))
I admit that most of the time i really disappointed with people.
-- including me.
my heart fragile most of the time.
-- i mean really fragile.
-- about anything and everything.
i wonder where myself goes
-- the one that everyone outside see.
when i'm alone, i feel that everything i do and said
-- all useless. stupid.
-- i hurt people.
and i hate myself for this.
i hope i run from myself.
so, people will not disappointed with me.
Sometimes, i just desperate for someone to listen,
about everything that i really want to say.
Assalamualaikum and haiiiii everyone!
Alhamdulillah. After a long journey until i survive here. currently at University Malaysia Perlis and just ended my first year bachelor's life. getting through this thick and tough journey will make me stronger after this. Even i'm not get opportunity to studies oversea that i admired after a long time, i realize it doesn't care where you study but how you make it clear to your self to survive in this journey.
Just another 2 years more babe. you will make it and graduate. oh my God, i just can't wait! Starting my internship for another 2 weeks after we celebrate Raya Day! really nervous and i don't know what i have to do and really sick thinking of that coming soon! i even didn't excited to celebrate Raya, no new clothes and just wear what i have. i think this is just enough and i really grateful my parents still alive.
oh wait! i decide to share with you my first year journey in university. enjoy!